How To Eat What You Love and Still Lose Weight: The Flexible Diet

Can you believe I used to think losing weight meant saying goodbye to all my favorite hawker foods?! If you're sick of feeling guilty every time you crave a plate of char kway teow or slurp up a bowl of laksa, stick with me. I'm about to share how you can have your cake and eat it too – literally! Let me come clean as a reformed yo-yo dieter who's now a health and fitness coach who's all about fad-free fitness... Back in university, I was the spokesperson for ALL the fad diets you could think of. I'd be the one sitting in the corner during Chinese New Year, nibbling on steamed chicken breast while everyone else was going to town on bak kwa and pineapple tarts.

Why? Because I was on yet another crazy diet, convinced that if I wasn't suffering, I wasn't trying hard enough. If you've ever found yourself caught in the endless cycle of dieting, losing weight, and then gaining it all back—trust me, I’ve been there.

For years, I was stuck in this vicious cycle of extreme dieting followed by inevitable binging. Keto, low-carb, intermittent fasting (IF) - you name it, I've probably cried through it.

For years, I was stuck in this vicious cycle of extreme dieting followed by inevitable binging. Keto, low-carb, intermittent fasting (IF) - you name it, I've probably cried through it. Each time, I'd start off super motivated, only to end up feeling like a complete failure when I couldn't take the impossible rules I've set for myself. Whether it was cutting out carbs, fasting for hours, or obsessively counting calories, each method seemed to promise quick results but left me feeling deprived, frustrated, and right back at square one. I was plagued by endless self-blame and guilt, and I wondered if I'd ever find a way to achieve lasting results.

Today, I’m sharing what saved me from the yo-yo dieting trap: flexible dieting. Instead of telling you what foods you can or can’t eat, flexible dieting is all about balance. It taught me that I didn’t have to cut out the foods I love to see progress. I could eat my favorite meals, reach my goals, and—most importantly—keep the weight off. Flexible dieting isn't a quick fix; it's a lifestyle change. It's about creating a sustainable approach to eating that fits YOUR life, not trying to squeeze your life into a one-size-fits-all diet plan.

Why Restrictive Diets Don’t Work

Before diving into flexible dieting, it’s important to understand why restrictive diets always fail in the long run. When you eliminate entire food groups or drastically slash your calories, you might see quick results, but the reality is, it’s unsustainable. Your body craves balance, and as soon as you reintroduce the foods you cut out, the weight piles back on. This pattern only reinforces the idea that you are failing, but in truth, the diet is setting you up to fail. Here's the thing about these restrictive diets: they're like trying to sprint a marathon. Sure, you might zoom ahead at first, but sooner or later, you're going to crash and burn.

When you tell yourself certain foods are off-limits, it's like telling a child they can't have candy. Suddenly, it's all they can think about!

These diets set us up to fail by making us feel deprived and miserable. And let's be real, no one can live on chicken breast and broccoli forever (trust me, I've tried and failed spectacularly).

How Flexible Dieting Changed Everything

So, what’s different about flexible dieting? I love how it works because it focuses on creating a calorie deficit without cutting out the foods you love. By understanding your body’s macronutrient needs (proteins, carbs, and fats), you can make informed choices that keep you satisfied while still losing weight. There’s no list of forbidden foods.

Focus on balance, not bans... and watch the magic happen.

You get to enjoy your wanton mee, your favorite kaya toast, and still make progress.

The real game-changer? The mindset shift. No food is labeled "good" or "bad." Flexible dieting allows room for your treats within moderation, so you can have that bubble tea without guilt, knowing you’ve balanced it out with nutrient-dense meals throughout the day. Now, I know you're probably thinking, "Mabel, this sounds too good to be true!" But trust me, it works. The beauty of flexible dieting is that no food is off-limits. Want that slice of pizza? Go for it! The key is understanding how it fits into your overall nutritional needs. This approach takes away the guilt and fear around food, allowing you to enjoy eating again while still working towards your goals.

For me, flexible dieting was more than just a way to lose weight – it was freedom. I went from being that person sadly nibbling on plain chicken at gatherings to actually enjoying meals with my loved ones. I could savor a plate of my favorite pasta without feeling like I'd failed my diet.

The best part? The weight came off and stayed off. But more importantly, I finally made peace with food. No more obsessing, no more guilt, just a balanced approach to eating that I could maintain for life.

Three Key Steps to Get Started

If you're ready to break the cycle of yo-yo dieting, here are my three key steps for anyone looking to start their flexible dieting journey:

Step 1: Understanding Your Macronutrient Needs

Most people only focus on calories when trying to lose weight, but macronutrients—proteins, carbohydrates, and fats—play a massive role in how your body functions. Understanding your macronutrient needs can be a game-changer. Flexible dieting focuses on hitting specific macro goals instead of obsessing over eating “clean” or cutting out entire food groups.

Calculate Your Macros: Use an online macro calculator (I’ll be sharing my favorite one soon!) or my bonus calculator tool to help you figure out how much protein, carbs, and fats you need based on your weight loss goals.
Track What You Eat: Start logging your food in an app like MyFitnessPal, focusing on your macro goals rather than calories alone. Aim for balanced meals—this could mean a grilled chicken salad for lunch with enough protein, healthy fats, and fiber-rich veggies, or swapping out a carb-heavy dinner for a filling soup with lean fish and veggies.
Protein is Your Bestie: Prioritize protein. It keeps you full longer and helps maintain muscle mass while you’re losing weight.

Step 2: Apply the 80/20 Rule:

One of the biggest problems with restrictive diets is they don’t allow you to indulge in foods you love, which often leads to falling off the wagon. With flexible dieting, you follow the 80/20 rule—eat nutrient-dense foods 80% of the time, but enjoy your favorite treats in moderation 20% of the time. This makes the whole process sustainable.

Plan Your Treats: Instead of saying you’ll never eat chocolate or pizza again, plan for indulgences. Pick a day when you’ll enjoy a cheat meal, like laksa or ice cream. Knowing you have something to look forward to makes it easier to stick to healthy eating throughout the week.
No Food is 'Good' or 'Bad': Eliminate the mindset of “good” vs. “bad” foods. When you stop demonizing certain foods, it becomes easier to eat them in moderation. Remember: one slice of cake won’t derail your progress.
Stay Mindful: Even when indulging, stay mindful of portion sizes. Enjoy your treat without going overboard, and balance it with more nutritious choices in the same day.

Step 3: Choose Nutrient-Dense v.s. Calorie-Dense

Not all calories are created equal. Foods rich in nutrients (nutrient-dense) give your body what it needs, while calorie-dense foods might fill you up but offer little in terms of nutrition.

Flexible dieting allows you to enjoy both, but focusing on nutrient-dense options most of the time helps keep you full and satisfied.

Swap Calorie-Dense for Nutrient-Dense Foods: Instead of fried rice, try brown rice with stir-fried veggies and tofu. Swap sugary drinks with water or green tea. Look for small swaps you can make that add up to a big difference.
Fiber is Your Bestie (too): Foods rich in fiber, like vegetables, fruits, and whole grains, help keep you fuller longer. Aim to incorporate them into every meal.
Stay Full on Volume Foods: Volume foods like leafy greens, watermelon, or broths are low in calories but high in volume, meaning they take up space in your stomach and keep you satisfied without overeating.

Flexible Dieting: A Long-Term Fix

Remember, the faster you lose the weight, the faster it will come back. If you’ve spent years building poor eating habits, a quick-fix diet won’t give you lasting results. Flexible dieting is not about instant weight loss; it’s about creating sustainable habits that will stick for life. You’re not just losing weight—you’re learning how to keep it off.

In the past I wouldn't have been caught dead with pancakes...

Ready to Break the Cycle?

If you're tired of restrictive diets and want to learn more about how flexible dieting can change your life, tune into my latest podcast episode on The Whole Gains Show. I dive deeper into how flexible dieting works, share more tips on getting started, and share my latest resource that'll help you master the basics! You wouldn't want to miss out on my latest macro calculator tool that will help you personalize your approach based off my signature AMFIT method meant to help you feel and look your best self while enjoying your meals every single day! Follow me on Instagram @mabesloh for daily sustainable health and fitness tips if you haven't already done so! Don't forget to catch the full episode and get started on your journey to food freedom (and sprinkle some stars and give me a follow on Spotify so you'll never miss another new episode!)